Welcome to the next chapter of your life. This is an institute of higher learning, the best of its kind. Here is a place where real things happen and your actions really matter. All these people you see walking around here, they are in the process of changing the world right now. They are writing research papers, conducting experiments, and making connections that they will remember for the rest of their life. They are doing what it takes to get ahead in the world, and you can do it too. We as an institution are here for you. You were promised the best, and you will get the best. We have thousands of courses and thousands of majors and thousands of professionals waiting to help you get what you want out of life. But just remember, you still have to take that first step. We can help you with everything except the most essential part of the process. We can’t tell you what you want, nor can we tell you what your purpose is, because we believe that your 60,000 dollars would be better spent otherwise. We know you came here looking for answers, and we are sure that if you take the right classes and make the right choices, you will get those answers. We don’t know what’s right, but we are confident it’s somewhere around here. But don’t think about that stuff. In the meantime, you can work.
It is okay. Failure is encouraged. After all, if you are not failing and constantly questioning the choices you make every single day, are you really learning anything? We don't think so. We know that is will be a struggle, but that struggle is a part of something bigger then yourself, something that costs sixty thousand dollars a year to fund. And it is a struggle that you wont regret going through. But the good news is, that when you die in this game, you can just restart next term. However, the time you spend here is real, and the money is real, so you wont get it back. At the same time, it's up to you to make the most of what we have to offer. We also believe you have better things to do with your time then dwell on existential quagmires. For example, you could write an essay, conduct an experiment, or learn a language. If you just work hard on a daily basis, you won’t have time to feel angry, depressed, or alone in this world. We are confident that you will be better off if you just ignore those feelings and concentrate on working hard.
credits
from x^2 Singles,
released January 1, 2010
Certain drum samples from DJ SonicFreak Kit 2.0. Other Samples from Resident Evil 4 and Genki. Voice synthesis courtesy of www.fromtexttospeech.com. Everything else by x^2
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